I entered the hospital for the 1st time in over 3 years today😳. Naomi had a huge infected cyst under her armpit that just wouldn’t budge so we had to go & get it cut & drained🤕. ( I really wasn’t impressed with the care she got, honestly felt like the staff was incompetent & cold, but that’s not the focus of this post)
I felt so nauseated & anxious at the thought of stepping foot in there…I’ve lost all trust in all of that system😒. I can not tell you how many nurses & doctors threatened to give me a shot or make sure I never made it out alive again if I was ever to have them as caregivers🤮…I also worried that they may not let me in without a mask or that they would treat us different since we never got the 🤐
None of that happened obviously but I was surprised at how emotional I got being back into that environment😓. I always loved hospitals, the equipment & the skills needed to figure things out & save lives😔…I was by far the most excited student in nursing school & just wanted to learn every little thing & become the best nurse ever!!!
All that is gone now, I felt sick in there🤢…couldn’t breathe well as I looked around with my new perspective👀…that place went from being a place I love to a place of nightmare😱 & death☠️
I left with a feeling of dread in my stomach. It’s sad & it hurts💔…how dare they throw away a nurse like me who loved her patients, always went beyond & above & would sacrifice everything to ensure people get the right care?🧐
But then I quickly redirected my thoughts….I’m proud of myself😏, even if they tried, they can never make me a tool in their evil agenda👺….I’m grateful🙏 to have been given the courage, critical thinking & voice🗣 needed to do God’s work✨.
And then I remembered that I have a much higher purpose then to serve the devil, I’m here to empower people to heal from their mental health challenges😀 by going to the root cause of the issue instead of numbing with drugs✊
But still…it was weird, awkward & made me realize that I still have grieving to do when it comes to my career…& I will do just that💪
As I keep moving forward👉👉👉 & onto bigger better things💫