I Got My Own Back
As I was driving🚗 back from an overwhelming trip to the mall on Boxing Day🙄, my daughter Latoya asked me if I had heard from Ashley, a little girl I had been a nurse to for over 13 years.
I instantly became cold & defensive😤 telling her that her mother had cut me off & therefore had no idea of how she was doing. I could feel the tension rising in my body as my daughter continued on to say that her mother surely didn’t hate me, how could she after all the care I had given to her family.
I became even more angry & informed her that she had no idea what I had been through & how cruel people who once may have seemed to love you can become. She then went on to ask “Why does everything always end up being an attack for you? Why can’t you just answer without being so defensive?”
I knew she was right, why was I so angry?🤔 I took some deep breaths & stayed quiet for the rest of the ride home. I reflected trying to figure out what was going on…I feel sad😔, I realize I haven’t grieved all the relationships I felt so betrayed by.
Before I first spoke out I was Chief Steward of the union at work, I helped several employees keep their jobs & always stood for those who were being wrongfully disciplined…none of those people nor my supposed to be “friends” reached out to me to see how I was coping when I got fired😳
I was also a facilitator, many of the people in my support groups felt empowered by me & my story. Most of those same people were so quick to unfollow me after I spoke out😩
And that little girl Ashley I took care of for so long, I love her and her family was like family to me💔. They never called to see how I was coping when I was completely defamed, instead I received a few texts with only links to some of the worse articles written about me.
How can these people who knew me personally believe all that nonsense which was the absolute opposite of what they knew about me?🤯
All these people who I protected, guided, empowered & cared for now avoid me as if I was the plague🙅🏻♀️. They instantly forgot who I was & what I had always stood for.
I had a good cry when I got home😭😭😭. I grieve the belief that people who I help really know, care &/or will stand for me as I have for them☹️
I’m letting it all go🕊…
It’s all good, I don’t do what I do for people to like me anyway, I do it because it’s the right thing to do🤷🏻♀️. I have grown a lot through it all & realize that it’s ok if no one else has my back as long as I do😁
One thing is for sure, I will in no way, shape or form let this stop me from doing what I do best. I will keep protecting, empowering, guiding & caring for people even though I have learned that they might one day turn around and want me dead…that is their journey, not mine..I will continue on forging a new path forward & advancing in mine💫