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Meditation and Trauma

I never really liked meditating😒…I use to get restless & even agitated every time I tried it. I never looked forward to practicing it😫. When I first began my journey, I was told it would help me with my healing so I forced myself to do it, it became a dreadful task so I decided to stop doing it. This was about 4 years ago.

I’ve done a lot of healing work since then so when Paul Leendertse, with whom I did the Cancer Prevention Coaching Program, proposed that we practice meditation daily & reminded me of all the benefits, I decided to give it another try👍. It helped that I just read “You Are The Placebo” by Joe Dispenza and had started trying his.

Now I’ve started again, I’m on day 14 & doing 17 minutes daily🤗. I’m doing The Watcher meditation👀 & it’s working super well for me. I’ve increased it by 7 minutes already & am aiming to do at least 20 minutes a day😁

I know I’ve come a long way with my healing but I was still surprised to see that it doesn’t irritate me as it did a few years ago😮. I am now able to stay centred & be fully present within myself🧘🏻‍♀️. Even better, I actually like it, it calms me down😌

I noticed though that I often feel sad afterwards & cry😢. I think it may be because it’s the first time in my life that I am able to just be with & truly feel myself. I think that I’m sad because for 44 years I couldn’t do it but it’s probably also tears of joy🥲 because I have finally arrived home. I live within myself now most of the time. I let myself feel, I take care of myself & most importantly, I love myself❤️

Contrary to what I have been saying, I now do believe that meditation is important, especially when reconnecting to the self after having experienced childhood trauma❤️🩹 but it’s critical that we be ready & that might not be the case in the beginning when we still don’t have the right tools & knowledge to understand & manage our experiences, pain & triggers…& that’s absolutely ok😉

I am doing a Gong which means I’m going to continue this practice for 100 days in a row & see what happens. I will let you all know what I learned….until then🧘🏻‍♀️

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