My Struggle & Healing With Romantic Relationships

I haven’t been in a relationship since 2008 when I left my ex husband😮. I hated man for a while, at least I thought I did, until I started my healing journey & joined a mixed support group. It made me realize that man had feelings just like women did🤔 but that they had to hold them in because of the toxic culture that we live in🙄

Healing also made me realize that I was super lonely & actually craved being in a healthy loving relationship almost more than anything else😔...especially since I’ve never experienced, not only being in one, but also never had parents who loved each other as a child. I don’t really have any examples of what being in a healthy relationship looks like🤷🏻‍♀️, I’ve only read about it in books📚 or heard about it from friends.

Anyways, I started being more open to it but I found it to be hard…I have a lot of baggage & man seem to be intimidated by my independence, my strength…& my big mouth🥲

But then I met someone😄, at first I didn’t want him to know that I was curious about him too…I watched him for months…waiting for him to do something I didn’t like😝 but it never happened & he consistently was nice & caring towards me so I decided to take a chance😱

He seemed to be perfect😍, I loved having him to confide in, I finally felt like I had a shoulder to lean on & I didn’t have to always be the strong one, he also gave me the affection I needed❤️ but…

I let myself fall too fast, I should have taken my time🙁…I found out that he drinks quite a bit & as a “recovering alcoholic”, I can’t have that. It’s not going to work so I had to end it😥

Kind of sad but I’m still so proud of myself. I was able to put myself & my wellness first even though it was super hard. I always practice what I preach😉 so there was no way I could be in an unhealthy relationship🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s disappointing but I see this as growth💪...another step in my healing journey✊...& I’m not going to let it scare me from trying again. I’m more confident in my ability to protect myself & stick to what’s best for me😎

I guess I’ll just have to be patient and keep looking for my King👑...I know he’s out there somewhere & that he will show up, unfortunately not when I want him too😒, but in God’s timing🙏