Post written and posted on social media on January 1st, 2022
I’m not really into making New Years resolutions, I feel as though since everyone is doing it & many will not stick to their commitments, it makes it easier to do the same while thinking it’s not so bad cause everyone else abandoned their goals too. I believe that growth never ends & that we should continuously work on improving ourselves, updating & upgrading our goals as we move towards being our optimum self…that being said, the time has come for me to make some serious changes in order to accomplish this so I’ll take the New Year opportunity to do it.
As most of us have experienced in the last 21 months, my mental health has significantly deteriorated. Before the pandemic, I was calm & grounded…now I’m constantly triggered into fight or flight which has brought back self-medicating with weed & reacting instead of stopping to breathe, reflecting & then responding. These are the 2 main things I want to remaster this year.
Don’t get me wrong, marijuana can be very healing, I even recommend for fibromyalgia pain, but for me it’s an addiction that brings me to decline in everything I do…nutrition, exercise, goals…everything gets thrown out the window & it shows on my overall well being. But what bothers me the most, is that I do it to hide from reality, to hide from the truth, to dissociate & that’s exactly what the wicked globalists want. When I smoke, I feel as though they are winning because I lose a part of myself & the numbness makes me lazy & I don’t get stuff done…so I’m stopping today, not really cold turkey, I’ll be taking edibles for anxiety but there’s hardly any THC so it doesn’t get me high, that way it’s not as bad as taking nothing and gives me a chance to adjust until I feel ready to stop that too. I want to live 100% in my truth, it’s the only way out of the darkness, anything else brings disconnection which is why we are in the mess we are in today.
I also want to be more in control of my emotions…I’ve totally lost all control of this lately & it’s just getting worse. I plan on doing this by going back to putting myself first. Since I first spoke out, I’ve been rightfully obsessed with fighting for our freedoms putting my own wellness on the back burner. It’s really been showing lately, I don’t like who I’m becoming. My anger is often becoming out of control, I often feel enraged, frustrated and resentful…it scares me & the ones closes to me. That’s not who I am nor who I want to be. I’m LOVE & Light and that’s what I need to focus on being.
Before the plandemic, I had to do a lot of work to make myself feel safe & grounded, the plandemic came and completely knocked me off my feet. I wasn’t equipped to ground myself while being stuck not only in a trigger but in a real life threat. Nothing could have prepared me for this but it’s been almost 2 years, I’ve gotten use to it, I’m getting stronger, I’m learning to ground myself even when I’m not safe. I’m actually grateful for the experience, my healing has taken a new depth & I can’t wait to share my experiences with you as I move forward into my healing journey. Hopefully, I’ll inspire many to do the same.
This year is going to be super powerful, we’re done fighting for our God given rights, we’re already free…it’s time to create the world & communities that we want to see…let’s do it!!!
Happy New Year everybody…Health, Love, Light & Freedom