The Fear of Being Happy

I’m so scare to be happy, I know it’s a pattern🙄

I learnt as a kid not to let myself be too happy because something bad might come & take it away. It’s easier to not feel too good so that the disappointment is not as big when it hits🤷🏻‍♀️

I feel like everything is going my way right now✨, I love my life❤️…I’m in such a great place, I’m excited about my life & where it’s going😃

Woke up with so much anxiety, like there’s a hole in my solar plexus😫. It makes me feel nauseated & I just want to cry…why does it have to be this way?

I just want peace & to create a world of love where everyone is well😌…but I feel like just when I found myself & my purpose is the same time when everything may be taken away😡. The digital ID that seems to be coming into place, a cashless world, the 15 minute cities …it terrifies me😱

Will I have to move? what will I do with my money? will my kids want to come with me or give in? Will the government come after me? My mind goes to the worse case scenario constantly😓

So I did my breath work😮‍💨 & my 20 minute watcher👀 meditation🧘🏻‍♀️ & I managed to bring myself back into the moment. Reminding myself that I’ve been doing this since I was a young child. This is a pattern that robs me of being happy in this moment where everything is well🧐. I’m working on breaking this pattern & thinking of all the positive ways that this can all turn out to…like more people waking up, more people not complying & the collapse of a system that never served us in order to give birth to a new enlightened world💫

It’s possible that it’s not the end of the world🤔. I just must constantly remind myself & repeat my affirmations …” I have the right to be happy”…”good things can happen to me”…”I enjoy and live in the present”…bringing myself back by taking deep breaths into my belly☺️

I had a good cry this morning😢, I released all the crap💩. Now it’s time to stand tall & keep creating the world that I want to see by living my life on purpose✊. Doing everything I can in my power & letting go of everything that I don’t have control over👋

And always remember, that no matter what, the universe works in all our favour🙏