When I look back at this era (14-17) of my life, I always wonder why nobody took the time to really help me...all I wanted was for someone to care enough to see that I was in distress & didn’t know how to manage my pain.I wanted to feel important enough to be seen...I felt invisible so I:
1. Drank heavily & smoked weed day & night
2. Begged at the subway to support my addiction 3. Sold drugs
4. Acted up sexually I didn’t go home at night 5. I fought & got beat up a lot 6, I threatened teachers to death, carried knives & even got caught with a gun in school
But still no one saw that I was desperate for attention.... My parents neglected me: my dad was too preoccupied with his girlfriend, my mom had her own issues.
Other adults saw me begging on the streets & walked by, some gave me money. Most of my friend’s parents despised me & didn’t want their kids to hang with me. Teachers ignored &/or feared me. Principal expelled me. Therapist was not trauma informed enough & couldn’t help me. My doctor ignored my bruised body. Cops beat me & made me worse. The judge dismissed me, probably because I was a white girl, no counselling needed...nothing. Grown man took advantage of me some even raped me.
All I wanted was some attention, I was labeled a bad kid by mostly everyone when in reality I was a troubled kid who needed to be loved unconditionally.
We need to do better as a society so please if you see or know a kid or teenager acting up, know that they’re in distress & they just need love, don’t turn your head the other way, show them that you care