When I Use To Rap

TBT to sometime in 1996 when I use to rap with 2 of my best friends🎤. We called ourselves “Lyrical Minds” & actually won 2nd place in Montreal’s hip hop contest that year👊

Looking back at some of my lyrics, I remember being 16 & already ready to die😭

Some of my lyrics went like this:

“Who you think you are, walking around like you’re the big star⭐️ Giving me the looks👀, don’t you know I never shook? I’m the crook Naturally born to suffer, they can’t control my anger😡 so I gotta drink that liquor🥃My future is to blame, lost in the maze of the street game, damn can’t handle the pain😓

Traumatized since the day I realized That life is full of lies & cries when a homie dies😰

Problems getting blown away cause I’m sipping Tanqueray 🍾

Wishing somebody loved me enough to raise & teach me🥰

I never understood🤔, my parents never took care of me just like they should, got me stranded in the hood I could always suicide but nah still got my pride✊

So what will I do with all the shit I keep inside?🤕

God if you here me, please let me out of here🙏

Cause shit ain’t going good, I could see that my death is near”☠️

Looking at this today🧐, I know I’m a survivor. I could have died or killed myself so many times since but I fought with everything I had.

Now that I’m working on my healing, I know I need to go back & take care of her😘. We always hear about recovery & parenting our inner child but we also need to do the same for the teenager within.

I call her “Sarah Blunt” cause that was what my friends called me back then because I use to sell drugs😳. She was cold, angry😤 & in a lot of pain😥 She still shows up in my present life sometimes, when O don’t feel safe or I feel threatened. I’m learning to love her and give her the things she needed back then that she didn’t get❤️...you all should do the same✌️