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You Can Leave Too

Updated: Oct 19

#Tbt to 2006, a rare photo of the whole family unit together

I remember this day very well, it was my younger daughter’s baptism. We acted as if everything was ok & put on a good show for guests but inside I felt like I was slowly dying, my spirit felt so broken💔

I remember crying in our bedroom away from the guests as I breastfed Sadé. I was 28 & now had 3 kids…even if I wanted to leave, I felt like I couldn’t handle it, I felt stuck, trapped with an abusive man who was becoming worse by the minute😖

I dreamed of running away with the girls but I didn’t believe in myself & had no idea of how much strength I had buried within me🤷🏻‍♀️. What if I made things worse for my girls? What if I couldn’t make it financially? What if he came & ended my life as he had stated he would do if I annoyed him?😱

I also knew I would fall right back into drugs and drinking🥃 (my ex kept me in check when it came to that). I felt like a failure who couldn’t survive on my own😔

But at some point, about a year after this pic, it became clear that staying was causing a lot more trauma for my girls then leaving🤔. Over my dead body would I let my kids be abused & grow up to be as messed up as I was so I gathered all the courage I had and left👋.

I was petrified & had no idea how I was going to do it but I did…not gonna lie, it was hard…I worked 60hr/week & fell right back into substance abuse but I had taken the first step. He dragged me thru the courts which was absolutely brutal but I didn’t back down, I stood tall & even though I was scared, I forged forward progressing extremely slowly but surely👉👉👉

In the end he left the country as he didn’t want to pay child support🙄. It was one of the hardest things I ever went through but I did it & it made me who I am today😏. I didn’t have the strength that I have now back then but I put faith✨ over fear & gained confidence in myself as I struggled forward & grew into the strength I needed💪

I am not any different or better than you or anyone else, I just did it even though I was petrified & my thirst for my kids to have a better life than I did pulled me thru

So if you are who I was back then, stuck in an abusive relationship, know that you do have the power to get up & leave. You deserve better & so do your kids.

Know that you are not alone, so many others suffer in silence like you do😢…but you don’t have to.

Know that I see you, I believe in you & I stand with you👊…believe in yourself & there’s nothing you can’t do💫

You got this😘

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